i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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