Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
