it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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