You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize