My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
