ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
