we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize