hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
