I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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