So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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