Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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