you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize