I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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