im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my shit smells like andre
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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