i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
