thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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