Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize