I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
