nut hugger
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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