do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I am available for nakedness
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
