Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
