we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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