Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize