I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
