it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
don't judge my taste in strippers
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
