I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize