Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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