pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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