I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
