Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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