question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
