I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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