Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
this is an emotional support booty call
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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