I love black thongs
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
