And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
