You work out of a Hotel?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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