I like my sex mixed with concussions.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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