Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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