We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
