So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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