all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
