The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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