Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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