You're so nebulous sometimes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
