God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
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I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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