I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
