Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
