Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
