you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize