But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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