So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Damn victory sex feels great
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize