I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize