i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
