i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
