woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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