Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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