I'm lost and stupid without you.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize