everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
